Obviously we start getting older the day we are born. For much of our early life we even yearn to be older and as we mature we find that getting older is both exciting and greatly anticipated. But there comes a time when we begin to notice that getting older comes with a price in the form of diminished capacity, energy and, perhaps, even excitement. It is not something we like to dwell on or contemplate, let alone to plan for.

It is something we seem to deal with mostly by joking about it. We are living to age of the Three I’s: Incapacity, Incoherence and Incontinence. The fastest growing section on the supermarket shelves is for Depends! Age sneaks up on us and we only seem to be aware of it in sudden bursts of reality such as the story of the couple who were getting ready to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary. Their children had rented biggest room at the local country club and invited all of the living friends and relatives to attend the celebration. The children had even rented a fancy limo to pick up the couple and transport them to the club in style. The limo had arrived and the Mrs. was dressed and waiting for her husband to appear from the bedroom in his fanciest tux but there was no sign of him. So she burst in on him to see if she could speed him along. And there he stood stark naked in front of the full length mirror. “Henry what is wrong with you! We are late!! Every one is waiting for us!!! The kids will be worried that something terrible has happened!!!!” All Henry could say was, “Marge, its terrible! It’s awful!!” “What’s terrible? What’s awful?” “My body, it’s falling apart! My chin is in my neck; my arms have more flaps than a 747; my chest is in my stomach, my glutomas maximus is diminimus and legs look like piano legs!” Marge just stood there in silence. “Can’t you say anything positive, Marge?” “Well, Henry your eye sight is still pretty good”

Henry had a sudden realization that he was older and had aged! And this is the way we usually talk about our aging by making jokes about it. Why? It is a way to deflect our fears about the ravages of old age. But it also keeps us from facing the realities of our future and it keeps us from making plans and taking those steps that will help us positively live out our life. There is much to appreciate about our aging and much that can be done to help us live it out with dignity and grace IF we can envision it and plan for it.

At birth our current life span in the United States is 73 for men and 79 for women. Once we reach age 65 it has increased to 81 for men and 84 for women; at age 75 it is 85 and 87; and at 85 it is 90 and 91. And these are the averages. As I like to point out, the average person has less than two legs so there is no reason to aspire to be average! One in twenty Baby Boomers will live to age 100. In the next 30 years a drug will likely appear that will slow the process of aging even further. By 2050 assisted living facilities will house not just parents but also their 70 and 80 year old children!

We are going to be spending an increasing amount of time in our senescence. We ought to be ready for it and all of its dynamics and dimensions. As a financial planner I have been trained to measure the quantitative and financial aspects of aging and retirement but it is more than a quantitative problem. Yes, we fear living beyond our means but there is also a great fear of living beyond our physical and mental capacity to sustain our life style and the circumstances of our life that we enjoy today. It is a qualitative problem with physical, emotional and psychological dimensions.

Do you know or have you thought about what it takes to live the life you live today? Here are just some of the more universal Instrumental Activities of Daily Living that we are must be able to accomplish from day to day such as using the telephone, managing medications, moving about outside, shopping for essentials, preparing meals, doing laundry and light housekeeping and now, I guess, we could add using a cell phone and a computer. But each of us has a much longer list that is a reflection of how we are living now and want to continue to live in the future. Do we play golf, dance, and go to the movies and the theatre, travel? Do we live in a condo or on a 5 acre ranch? Do we have a single story house on a flat lot or a multi-level house on a hillside? All of the unique dimensions of our life impact the instrumental activities of our daily life. As we age we need to be aware of how our aging will impact our ability to carry out these instrumental activities and what we want to do when we can no longer perform one or more of these activities. We need to envision our future and what we want to be our response to changes in our capacity.

In this section of the website I hope to have essays, articles and other information that will help you focus on the dynamics of aging so you can become increasingly aware of what you should be keeping an eye out for in your life as you age. I encourage you to share your insights with me so they can be shared with all the others who may be reading and browsing through this website.